


The Ravenclaw Ghost

by Northern_Lady



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Death, Longing, Love, Pre-Deathly Hallows, Short Chapters, ghost - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-17 02:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13649523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northern_Lady/pseuds/Northern_Lady
Summary: What happens when a certain ghost falls in love with a certain Hogwarts professor?





	1. Chapter 1

A thousand years is a long time to be alone. Helena Ravenclaw knew she was never truly alone in all that time, there were always students and professors and house ghosts at Hogwarts, she still felt alone. She distanced herself from all of them. Sometimes she spoke to the Ravenclaw students to help them with their schoolwork or to find items they had lost but that was because they were only children. They were children much like she herself had once been, children who wanted to know things. As such, she felt an obligation to help them, but she didn’t have any real friends and hadn’t in more than a thousand years. Some part of her felt that she didn’t deserve any. If only she hadn’t run away from her mother. If only she had gone home when the Baron had asked her to. She could have never loved him, but she could have at least granted her mother one final dying wish. Helena found the regret difficult to bear and so she kept to herself both out of shyness and out of shame. 

Many students had come and go from Hogwarts over the ages and Helena was intelligent enough that she could have learned all their names in the passing years. Often though, she paid no attention to their names. The one thing she did pay attention to was the classes. She sat in on classes quite often. Even though she had taken all the courses multiple times, each new professor offered new tidbits of knowledge. Knowledge was something she craved. But when Professor Severus Snape began teaching at Hogwarts, Helena kept herself out of sight and sat in on the lessons. He quickly became her favorite teacher though she couldn’t explain why. He didn’t offer anything particularly new in his classes. She simply liked listening to him speak. And she liked the way he carried himself with the air of a gentlemen. No one behaved like that these days. Plenty of modern people knew how to be polite, and plenty of them were reserved in character to remain dignified most of the time, but Severus, he acted as a true Baron or Lord should act. He was not of noble birth but he was wise and well mannered and as the years passed she grew to admire him more and more. 

Helena seldom left the areas of the classrooms or Ravenclaw tower. There was always the fear that if she did, she would run into the Bloody Baron. Even after so many years, she did not like to see the man who had murdered her. He had tried countless times to apologize and each time she had run away from him. What was she to say? That she forgave him? That was not something she could genuinely grant to him. 

Late one afternoon a group of students passed Helena in the halls of Ravenclaw tower. 

“Why do you suppose he is covered in blood?” One Ravenclaw girl said. 

“I don’t know. Maybe he killed someone before he passed over,” said a boy. 

“Well I’m glad we aren’t Slytherin and don’t have to go down to the dungeons very often. I should hate to see him more than once in a day,” the girl said and the students continued past her, having not even seen her. 

If they had just seen the Baron in the dungeons then her murderer wasn’t anywhere near Severus’ office at that moment. He would be there correcting papers about now. Maybe, maybe just this once she could go there and sit with him. He wouldn’t have to know. She could remain out of sight. She most definitely would remain out of sight. 

Helena made her way to the office of Severus Snape without ever encountering the Baron. She passed through the wall into his office without a sound and found a place to stand in a shadowy corner while he corrected papers. He had a rather large stack of papers to contend with and as she watched him work she realized that he looked weary, worn out. He read through each page one by one and marked them with a quill pen. Her gaze was drawn to the strength of his hands, the way his long hair fell across his jawline, the hunch of his shoulders as he worked. It came to her in that moment, with an audible gasp, that she was in love with Severus Snape. 

“Who’s there?” Snape looked up from his work. He had heard her gasp. 

Helena shrank deeper into the dark corner of the room, having every intention to pass through the wall and flee before he saw her. He could not be allowed to know that she had been watching him. It would be far to mortifying a thing for him to be made aware of. 

“Is that you Helena Ravenclaw?” He asked warily. 

So he had seen her after all. Her mind worked quickly for a solution, some reason that she might have come to his office other than her feelings for him. “I hope I did not startle you,” she said, coming into the light. “I thought perhaps you might like some help grading all these papers. I fear I have grown bored with so little to occupy my mind all these years.” 

“I see,” he said, although he did not sound convinced. “How do you propose to do that?” 

“If you lay the papers out where I can read them, I can calculate the grades for you. You need only write the final grades when I am finished,” she proposed. It had not been the true reason she came to visit him but as soon as she thought of it, she knew that assisting him to grade papers was something she wanted to do very much. 

“I suppose that could be arranged,” Snape said slowly. “We had best move to the library where there is a larger table.” 

Helena followed him out of his office to the library. Snape carried a stack of homework papers with him, which he began laying out on the table for Helena to grade. He took nearly half the stack for himself and sat down at the end of the table to begin grading. Helena worked quickly. She read the papers, calculated the grade, and memorized which grades belonged to which students before moving on to the paper. From time to time as she worked, she found herself glancing over at Severus. He was intent on his task and hardly seemed to notice her presence and yet she could not forget his presence in the slightest. In all her years since being a ghost, she had often longed to be human again. To taste food, to know warmth of a fire, to have a hug were all things she had longed for from time to time, but never before tonight had she wanted so strongly to remember what it would feel like to touch someone. 

She had nearly finished all the papers when Severus completed his own stack. Helena wasn’t sure if he had divided the work in half or not but it didn’t surprise her that he had finished so quickly. Severus was very intelligent. That was part of the reason she liked him. 

“How would you mark these?” Snape said, getting to his feet and starting at the paper on the corner of the table. 

“This gets a D,” Helena said plainly. “Goyle is no writer and I don’t think he even understood what he was writing about. These sections here, here, and here,” she pointed out, “Are a problem.” 

Severus glanced over the page. “I agree,” he wrote a D on the page. “And this one?” 

“Lovegood’s page is well written, if not a little fanciful. She made an error here,” Helena pointed out. “The rest looks good.” 

Snape nodded and gave Luna high marks. They proceeded down the length of the table to put marks on all the pages written by students. As they neared the end of the table, Helena tried to push aside her anxiety. Should she offer to help him again? If she wanted to spend more time with him, it would be the polite thing to do. But maybe he did not want the company of a ghost. And maybe she was being stupid to even seek his company. She would always be a ghost now and he wasn’t so old for a human. He might rather spend his time with real human women. 

“Well, that’s all of them,” she said as they reached the last one. She could almost remember just then what it felt like to be sick with nervousness. 

“Perhaps if you grow bored enough, you might assist me again,” Severus said very seriously. 

Helena fought the urge to smile. “I just might do that.”


	2. Chapter 2

After nearly three weeks of allowing Helena Ravenclaw to assist him with his work, Severus found he still had no idea why she had suddenly taken it upon herself to help him or why he allowed it. At first he had simply wanted to avoid offending her. No one wants to be haunted by an angry ghost after all. However, after a few days he had to admit that he did not dislike her company. She was a bit shy at times but mostly she was polite and insightful. She worked quickly and with her help he was able to cut his work in half. Had he been a Gryffindor he might have felt guilty about sharing his workload with an unpaid ghost but Severus had no such qualms. She volunteered to help and he had no issues with accepting voluntary assistance. What irked him however was not knowing why she was doing this. As a Ravenclaw, Helena probably craved knowledge and mental stimulation. The papers of Hogwarts students hardly offered either one. So why was she really there? 

“It is all finished,” Helena said to him from the far end of the library table. 

He got up and went to her, feeling a ghostly chill as he came nearer. 

“Why do these Weasley brothers sign their names like that?” she asked him and he looked down at the page to see what the twins had done this time. 

Severus huffed. “Probably as a prank to annoy me. I will give them low marks for their impertinence.” 

“Oh no, don’t do that. The papers aren't so bad. Just the signatures.” she said worriedly. 

Snape stared at her. She had never contradicted him or his methods before now. “Why do you care about the marks two highly immature Gryffindor students?” 

Helena was taken aback at his tone. “I don't, but knowledge is knowledge and truth is truth. These boys deserve marks based on their merit and not on how annoying you might find them.” she said rather harshly. 

Snape was a little surprised that the shy Ravenclaw ghost could be so bold. She wasn't wrong either. “Point taken,” he said dryly. “Aside from signing their papers all wrong, what mark do you believe they have earned on this paper?” 

After they had completed all the papers he expected Helena would make her excuses and leave like she ordinarily did. He began to restack all the papers and she just stood there watching him. He wondered if he should speak to Dumbledore about her. Maybe she was somehow haunting him after all. The headmaster would know what to do about it. Then he supposed if he had to be haunted by a ghost, Helena really wasn't so bad. Maybe he wouldn't bring up the matter to Dumbledore after all. 

“Severus?” Helena spoke up quietly as he gathered the last of the papers. “Do you hate Harry Potter?” 

Helena didn't need to clarify her question. She had seen his reaction to one of Harry’s assignments recently and she had seen some of their class interactions. “I would not be a successful teacher if I hated any of my students,” 

Helena smiled a little. “Such a Slytherin answer.” 

“I am a Slytherin. Did you expect a Hufflepuff answer?” 

“I had hoped for an honest answer,” she said sadly. 

“Fine. I will give you one and in exchange you must answer one question of mine as well.” 

Helena thought about that for a moment and if it were possible for a ghost to blush, he was almost sure she had done exactly that. “It’s alright. Forget I asked.” And with that she fled the library. 

The following night Helena did not return to help him, nor the next night, or the next. He found he missed her company. Maybe it was strange but he had liked spending his evenings in the library with the Ravenclaw ghost. She was more interesting than anyone he had met in a long time and so few women besides Minerva were willing to tell him he was wrong that Helena doing so was somehow refreshing. 

After several evenings spent working alone Severus found himself wandering towards Ravenclaw tower. He heard the familiar voice of the Bloody Baron, the Slytherin ghost before he ever reached the tower. 

“But I am, I truly am sorry. I only seek your forgiveness...that's all I ask...please?” the baron said. 

“Please leave me...please…” Helena begged. 

Snape readied a petrification spell as he rounded the corner. “What are you doing here?” Snape asked the Baron. “You belong near the dungeons” 

“But she...but…” the ghost argued. 

Snape raised his wand. “Go.” 

The baron fled, leaving him alone with Helena who was in tears. “Thank you,” she whispered. 

“You are most welcome, though I am unsure what has just transpired. What was he apologizing for?” Snape asked. 

“For killing me all those years ago. He stabbed me you know?” 

“I was not aware. You have spent the last thousand years unable to escape the person who murdered you. That is….unfortunate.” 

She huffed. “Unfortunate is not the word I would use” 

“Agreed. If you would like to resume assisting my work, I will ask no questions of you that you do not wish to answer. That is why you have not returned, for fear of what I might ask?” 

Helena nodded timidly. 

“Then there will be no such questions. Only papers,” he turned and headed for the library and to his great relief, she followed him there.


	3. Chapter 3

It brought Helena a little hope when Snape sought her out and asked her to resume assisting him with his work. Her hope quickly faded though when she saw that he was in one of his dark moods. It could be that he just wanted her help because he was in an ill temper and did not want to face so much work. Did he see her as anything other than unpaid labor? The very idea upset her to the point that she was soon in a mood as dark as his. 

“How many are left?” Snape interrupted her thoughts having finished his own stack of papers. 

“Seven,” Helena told him, abashed that she had been distracted enough to be slower than he was this time. 

“Then give me four and I’ll…” he trailed off, seeing to remember that she could not actually give him anything, since she was a non corporeal being. “I’ll take four and you may do the last three?” 

He got to his feet and began to pick up four of the remaining tests. 

“Why four?” Helena asked, hardly able to hide how insulted she felt. Did he think she was not capable of doing the task as quickly as he did? 

Snape stopped short with three tests in his hand and one remaining on the table. “Because you are clearly distracted this night and not up to your usual speed. I haven’t the patience to coddle your vanity. I simply want this task completed.” 

“My vanity?” Helena all but exclaimed. “Do you think I assist you with these papers out of vanity? What would I have even have to prove? That I can mark papers as well as the Potions Master?” 

“No,” Snape said simply. “I haven’t the faintest idea why you are doing this and I believe I agreed not to inquire about that.” 

This was her chance, she knew, probably her only chance to tell him at least a little of how she felt. “Maybe, I just do it because I am lonely.” 

Snape raised an eyebrow. “If that is true, why seek my company of all people?” 

Helena forced herself to say the words. It was against her reserved nature to reveal so much but she knew after so many years of loneliness that she had to at least try. “Because I like your company.” 

Snape looked genuinely confused. “No one likes my company,” he finally said. 

“Perhaps that is because they do not take the time to know you. I have nothing but time,” she said with worry in her tone, worry that he would reject her words and send her away. 

“I have never seen this sort of magic before,” he said after a moment. “Who cast the spell on you? Who is making you haunt me?” 

“No one,” Helena said emphatically. “I am here of my own free will, because I wanted to be.” 

He regarded her skeptically for a moment longer. “As am I,” he finally said. “Though if the goal is to minimize loneliness, it seems that you might have chosen a more interesting task. How long since you read a new book?” 

“I listened to one of the Hufflepuff students read an entire book aloud some hundred years ago. Since then I am only able to hear occasional chapters or pages if I am in the right place at the right time,” Helena told him. 

“Then I will read one to you,” Snape offered. “It is the least I can do after all your assistance.” 

“Any book?” she asked hopefully. 

“Any book you like,” he agreed.

Helena could hardly contain her joy. If she could physically cry, she knew she would have cried at that moment. A new book? He was very nearly offering her the world.


	4. Chapter 4

Severus Snape had never had many friends in his life. There were those among the Death Eaters who might have called him a friend but he did not see them as friends in return. He was there to spy on them, to learn what the Dark Lord had planned and pass that information along to the Headmaster. What the Death Eaters wanted, for the dark lord to return to power, was the last thing he wanted and as such, any relationships he formed among them were false friendships. At Hogwarts, he could hardly say he had any friends either. He was on friendly terms with several of the other teachers, the Headmaster and Minerva most of all. But none of the teachers other than Dumbledore knew his true allegiance and none of them could ever know the burden he carried day after day. His only true friend had been Lilly Evans and he had both loved her and lost her so long ago that he had forgotten what it was like to have someone genuinely want to spend time with him. Once he was convinced that Helena was not mocking him, it was easy enough to offer her one small kindness. 

“I should like to read the Dictionary!” Helena said, excitedly on hearing his offer to read to her. 

“The Dictionary?” he said dryly. Only a Ravenclaw would have such an absurd idea. 

“Oh yes. There are ever so many new words since I died. I hear students using them all the time and I have no way of knowing if they are in the correct context. I want to see all this new vocabulary defined properly.” 

“I suppose I could leave a dictionary open for you and you may read it yourself. I will not read such drivel aloud.” he said plainly. 

“Alright,” she sounded disappointed. “What about Romeo and Juliet? I have heard that it is a muggle writing of great importance but I have never heard or seen it.” 

“Shakespeare it is,” he agreed. “I will find a copy in the library. Meet me in my rooms?” he asked, not wanting to spend the entire evening in the library. His room was far more comfortable. 

“Your room?” Helena sounded horrified. 

“You know the way, I’m sure, and it’s not as if you need an escort. What could I possibly do to harm you?” he pointed out. 

“It’s not that, it’s...the Baron is never far from your rooms… I think I had best not…” 

“The Baron will not trouble you. I will petrify him if he tries. You will be perfectly safe.” he tried to reassure her. 

“Well...alright then,” she reluctantly agreed. 

Severus went to the proper shelf with muggle literature, found a volume of Shakespeare, gathered up his school papers, and headed back in the direction of his room. Helena followed him timidly. The closer they came to Slytherin House, the more jumpy and on edge she became. Severus stopped walking and turned to her. 

“Does he truly frighten you so much, even after all these years?” Severus asked her. 

“Yes,” she whispered. 

“What happened?” He asked her. 

“I ran away from my mother. She sent the Baron to find me. He had always claimed to love me, or he had for years anyhow, but I never cared for him in return. When he came for me, I refused him yet again, and I refused to return home with him. He became enraged...and he stabbed me. I can still remember the pain. Sometimes I think I can still feel the pain but that can’t be so, can it?” 

“I have no idea,” Snape said, quite honestly. 

“It’s no matter. We each have our own sort of pain. I have mine and you have yours.” 

He gave her a look. “I make no claims to having any pain.” 

“I know you don’t, but it is there nonetheless. Why? What is this pain you carry with you?” Helena asked him earnestly. 

His first thought was to respond with anger, to deny there was any truth to her words. Instead, he fell silent a moment. 

“You don’t have to tell me,” Helena said gently. “Forgive me if I have overstepped.” 

“No I...I lost someone once, long ago. I suppose I have never let it go and never will,” Severus admitted. 

“Was she beautiful?” Helena asked. 

“I never said it was a woman,” Snape quipped, and continued walking down the dark corridor. 

“You didn’t need to. The truth was obvious. Would I know her? Was she a Hogwarts student? Did you love her?” The curious questions were just pouring out of her. 

“I thought you were more interested in knowledge than in romantic tales,” Snape said, annoyed. 

“I am interested in both. Why do you think I want to read Romeo and Juliet?” 

“Because it has literary value,” Snape replied, though he knew by now that this was not the only reason she had chosen the text. 

“Because it has value to me. With it, maybe I can learn something I have never learned any other way,” she said sadly. 

He supposed she was speaking of love. Helena had never known love in her human life and she certainly hadn’t known it as a ghost. He doubted that she could learn what she wanted to know from a volume of Shakespeare but he didn’t have the heart to discourage her at this point. Then as he reached his doors, some part of him wondered if the fact that Helena had never known love had anything to do with her interest in him. He would ask her if he wasn’t convinced that the question would only make her run away from him. Besides, it wasn’t so unbelievable as he once might have thought, to believe that a ghost could have feelings for someone still living. It was nearly as believable as the idea that a person could have feelings for a ghost. Snape decided it was best not to say a word about the matter. Instead, he entered his room, opened a dictionary on the desk, and sat down to read aloud from his copy of Romeo and Juliet.


	5. Chapter 5

The last time Helena had heard an entire novel read aloud had been when a young Hufflepuff student named Laurence had read aloud to entertain his friends. Laurance had chosen a book called Three Men in a Boat, by Jerome K. Jerome. It was not the sort of book Helena would have chosen for herself but for a Hufflepuff that particular text made perfect sense. It was a comedic story about three men on a boating holiday. Laurance had done a fine job of reading it, so much so, that Helena had been highly entertained and had even laughed at times. She had never forgotten that book. 

Severus Snape read aloud much differently than Laurence had. While Laurence had intended to make his friends laugh, Severus took his task very seriously. Helena was soon engrossed in the tale. The style of language was familiar to her and she had no need for any explanations or interpretations on what was being read. Everything about listening to him read was comforting, like returning to a home she had been away from for a thousand years. Before he had gotten halfway through, Helena found that she was crying. 

“Why are you weeping?” Snape stopped reading and asked her uncomfortably. 

“Oh no, don’t stop reading. I’ll be fine,” she said, making an attempt to wipe away the tears that did not truly exist. 

Severus continued reading all the way to the end of the play. The hour had grown late and Helena was weeping in earnest at learning the fate of Romeo and Juliet. 

“Should I take your tears to mean that you did not like the story?” he asked her. 

“I did like it. Truly, I did. Though I think it might have been so much better if they could have lived.” 

“As do I,” he agreed. “Their death was pointless.” 

“Much like my own, I suppose,” she said sadly. “Though I haven’t the faintest inkling of what it would be like to die for love.” 

“Neither Romeo nor Juliet died for love. They killed themselves over lack of it. It was a selfish choice, not a romantic one.” 

“Perhaps it was, but have you never loved someone enough that you would die for them?” she asked, mostly just wanting to understand the sentiment and not to pry into his personal life. 

“Yes,” he replied quietly. 

He was speaking of the woman he had lost, she knew it. And she knew better than to ask further questions about the matter. It saddened her that he still loved someone he had lost long ago. If he had never moved on from her after all these years, there was no chance he could ever care for a ghost. And what would it matter if he did anyway? She could do little more than talk to him even then, and she was perfectly free to talk to him now. How he felt about her shouldn’t even matter. 

“Her name was Lily Evans,” Severus said just when Helena thought they were lapsing into silence. He pulled up his sleeve and gazed absently at the mark on his arm. “She was killed by the dark lord.” 

“You bear the Dark Mark?” Helena asked, not judgemental, merely curious. 

“I followed the Dark Lord wholeheartedly in my youth. He gave me his mark. I abandoned him when I learned of his plans to kill Lily Potter, she was married to James Potter by then. It was Dumbledore who sent me back to the Dark Lord to learn whatever I can of his plans.” Severus told her. 

“Then you are spy,” Helena said, understanding that he had told her something very important, something very personal. 

“Indeed,” Severus agreed. 

“I knew Tom Riddle when he was a boy. I suppose he has not changed so much in all these years. Still manipulative and charismatic and of the belief that the world owes him something.” 

“Yes, that is an apt description.” Severus said absently, still looking at his faded dark mark.   
In that moment, it all suddenly made sense. This was why he called Harry Potter’s school paper “senseless drivel” one evening, and defended the boy another evening. This was why Severus was so sad, this was the pain he carried. He had loved the mother of Harry Potter and she had married someone else. Now he was forced to pretend to be loyal to the man who murdered the woman he had cared for. It was all rather tragic really, almost like Romeo and Juliet but worse because he was forced to live with his loss. Helena watched him a moment longer before daring to speak again. 

“Does he know, Potter? Does he know what you have done for him, for the sake of avenging his mother?” Helena asked gently. 

“No. No one is to know of this. Lives could be at stake if you speak of it to anyone.” 

“I won’t tell a soul. I wouldn’t want anyone to die because of something I said. Not ever again,” she said emphatically. 

“Are you speaking of the Baron or something else?” Snape asked warily. 

“I am speaking of Tom Riddle. I gave him information once… had I not given it to him, he might have never returned to power. I will say nothing of what you have told me. You have my solemn oath.” 

“Good,” Severus said, relieved and worried. “The hour grows late…” 

“Then I will leave you to sleep,” she offered. 

“You will be alright to return to Ravenclaw Tower on your own?” He actually sounded concerned. 

“I think so. Where do you suppose the Baron is this time of night?” 

Snape got to his feet. “I will return with you and keep him at bay if need be.” 

Helena kept to herself the joy that she felt seeing he was willing to be protective of her like this. She was only a ghost. He did not need to treat her as a lady or as a human. It was a great kindness that he did.


	6. Chapter 6

Occlumency lessons with Potter were not Severus favorite times. The boy needed to have a more disciplined mind. Teaching him such a task was as difficult as it might have been to teach his father. Lily would have been a much better student. It was only in seeing her eyes in Harry’s face that Severus was able to maintain any patience with the boy. Then when Harry had pried into Snape’s private memories, Severus had thrown him out of his office in a fit of anger. 

Severus hated having so much emotion, so much anger. Emotion made him weak. He knew it to be true and he could not shake the horror that Potter had seen his worst memory, the humiliation of being bullied by James Potter and the insult he had given to Lilly. Severus stood there, leaning against his desk, struggling to calm his mind when he saw the movement of Helena Ravenclaw passing through the wall into his office. 

“How long have you been there?” he asked, still angry and now annoyed that she might have been watching 

“Long enough to know you are upset.” 

“I am not upset,” he outright denied it. 

“Severus…” Helena said gently. “I may be a ghost but I can still see. I can see that you are angry. There is no sense in pretending it isn’t so.” 

“He pried into my memories,” Severus said simply. “He had no right.” 

“No he did not,” Helena agreed. “But Harry is still a boy and is probably unsure if he can even trust you. Perhaps if you were to tell him-” 

“I will not tell him anything!” Snape cut off her words. 

“Alright...then will you tell me something?” she asked him. 

Severus sighed. He needed to calm himself. There was no reason to direct his anger at Helena. “What do you wish to know?” he finally said. 

“What memory did he see?” Helena asked him. 

Had it been anyone else, Severus would have replied in anger. He wouldn’t have told them anything. Helena was different. For weeks she had helped him grade the students papers, had listened to him read aloud four books by now, and had been in every sense of the word, a friend. Still, he hesitated to tell anyone something so personal. 

“He saw James Potter humiliate me and he saw me call his mother a mudblood.” Snape finally said. He wouldn’t give more details than that. He simply couldn’t. It was enough that he had told her the truth to a very personal question. “It was my worst moment.” 

“I am sorry…” Helena whispered the words. “But Severus, your worst moment does not define you. You are far better than your worst moment.” 

“And I am not as good as my best moment either,” he quipped, not sure what his best moment even was. 

“Of course not. You are the sum of all of your moments. If I had to add them up, I would say that all your moments add up to you being an intelligent and brave and good man.” she said emphatically. 

Severus didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had paid him a compliment quite like that. He wasn’t sure anyone ever had. He wasn’t sure he deserved it. 

“You must have papers that need correcting,” Helena went on. “I’ll help you with them if you wish.” 

“That would be appreciated,” Severus said and he began gathering up the student assignments to carry to the library. He glanced over at Helena as he stacked the pages and realized for the first time that she must have been very beautiful while she still lived. She was rather lovely even as a ghost. 

“What is it?” Helena asked, having caught that he was looking at her. 

“It’s nothing...it’s…” he wondered if he should tell her? “I wonder how many times in the past thousand years people have told you how beautiful you are?” 

Helena gasped and put a hand to her mouth. She started to cry. 

“I’m sorry. I…” Severus began, unsure why she had reacted as she had. Perhaps no one had said anything of the kind to her since the Baron’s unwanted advances in all this time. 

“No, there’s no need to be sorry,” Helena said, composing herself. “It was just rather unexpected and...long awaited. So I thank you.” 

“Long awaited?” he said as he left his room and made his way out into the hall where she followed him. “So no one has said anything of the sort?” 

“I suppose there have been students over the years who said I was pretty, or I would be if I weren’t a ghost.” she admitted. 

“Then why…?” Severus began to ask, then understood the answer before he had even finished the question. Helena cared for him. That’s why his words indicating she was beautiful were long awaited. She had probably cared for him for a while without him even knowing. And maybe, he had to admit to himself, he had cared for her too and hadn’t even known it. Now that he knew it, he hadn’t the slightest clue what to do about it.


	7. Chapter 7

Ghosts do not sleep. Most nights Helena spent either wandering about Ravenclaw Tower, or reading one of her collection of ghost books. She had only a few that had passed over with her and she had read them many times over but it was at least something to pass the time. It almost seemed of late that time had passed more slowly. She always felt like she was waiting for something important to happen but she didn’t know what it was. 

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with him lately,” Moaning Myrtle came up behind Helena as she paced the hallways. 

“With who? And how did you get out of the girl’s toilet?” Helena said, startled at the child ghost. 

“I’m not really out,” Myrtle said. “My feet are still in.” 

Helena looked down to see Myrtle’s feet were in the floor. The bathroom was on the floor below them. 

“You’d be surprised how many things I can see just by passing through a wall and keeping my feet or one arm where I belong. I see kids cheating on homework. I see boys kissing girls. I see Filch sweeping dirt under a carpet sometimes,” Myrtle squeaked. “Do you know what I saw tonight?” 

Helena wasn’t sure she wanted to know. “What?” she asked anyhow. 

“I saw you making eyes at Professor Snape. I did. It was so romantic.” Myrtle said. Helena couldn’t tell if she was mocking her or not. 

“You didn’t see any such thing.” 

“Oh but I did. I saw you making eyes at him and he was making eyes at you. I’ve been dead a long time. I know what it looks like when a girl cares about a boy. I have seen it so many times. No ever looks at me like that. No one ever will. I don’t think it’s fair,” Myrtle said accusingly. 

“Whatever you think you saw…” Helena began. 

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell,” Myrtle smiled. “The Ministry of Magic’s Spirit Division doesn’t like it when ghosts get involved in human affairs. I should know. Your secret is safe with me,” she giggled and then cackled. 

“I have not done anything that the ministry would even care about,” Helena protested. 

“Yes,” Myrtle moved closer to get in Helena’s face, leaving only one toe in the floor. “Yes you have!” the girl growled. “You’re haunting him. The ministry doesn’t like it when ghosts haunt people. They’ll make you stop. They’ll confine you to Ravenclaw Tower and never let you out again. Is that what you want?” 

“I’m not haunting him,” Helena said serenely. “You are a very disturbed child. You should go back to your room now.” 

“Not yet,” Myrtle said almost sweetly. “I heard Professor McGonagall say that three people from the ministry are visiting Hogwarts next week. I suppose they’ll probably have to visit the toilet while they’re here. I wonder what will happen should someone tell them that a ghost is haunting a Professor?” 

“What on earth are you going on about Myrtle? Are you trying to threaten me?” Helena seriously doubted the Spirit Division would even care who she spent time with. She certainly wasn’t haunting anyone. 

“You think it won’t matter? That they won’t care? You’re wrong! They will care. They’ll use a containment charm to keep you away from him. That’s what they did to me. It was horrible. So horrible.” 

“Then don’t tell them,” Helena said simply. 

“I could keep a secret, it’s true. And I will if you’ll give me one of your books.” 

Helena took a step back, angry and insulted. “You might have just asked to borrow one. I would have given it to you. There was no need to…” 

Myrtle was grinning from ear to ear. “Oh but there was. Now I know it’s true. You weren’t just making eyes at him. You love him.” Her tone changed from mocking to angry. “At least now someone else knows how it feels!” 

“You love a human?” Helena asked, feeling sorry for her for some inexplicable reason. 

“Can I borrow a book or not?” Myrtle avoided the question. 

“You may,” Helena agreed. “But I lend it to you not because of any threats you have made but as a friendly gesture from one ghost to another.” 

Myrtle said nothing to that, however she looked relieved. Helena pulled a book from the folds of her dress. It was gray and transparent and of a ghostly quality. Myrtle took it from her with tears in her eyes. 

“How long may I keep it?” the girl asked, less antagonistic than before. 

“As long as you like. I’ve read it a hundred times by now.” 

“Thank you,” Myrtle said and sank back down into the floor leaving Helena alone.


	8. Chapter 8

Severus had already begun the process of laying out the school papers on the library table before Helena even arrived. It had been nearly a week since the night he threw Harry Potter out of his office, since the night he realized he cared for a ghost. He still hadn’t figured out what to do about that. Feelings and emotions were a weakness that he did not want to be troubled with. It would be better to pretend that this regard he had for Helena didn’t even exist. Better for him because he did not need any distractions from his task of bringing down the dark lord. Better for Helena because telling her the truth would not help her. It would likely only make her feel worse about being a spirit. 

Before he saw Helena pass through the wall into the library he could hear her singing. It was an ancient Irish song, or he assumed it was, being unfamiliar with the language but recognizing the tune to be something from long ages past. He had never heard her sing before. The song ended as she passed through the wall into the library. 

“Were you singing just now?” he asked her as she joined him at the table. 

“I was,” Helena admitted somewhat shyly. “It was something my mother used to sing. I fear I do not do it justice.” 

“I doubt that. It is too bad you do not sing more often.” 

Helena blushed in response. “Thank you, though I imagine it might frighten the first year students if I sang too often. It takes a while for them to become accustomed to ghosts.” 

“The more you sing, the quicker they will adjust.” he said simply. He didn’t care all that much what might frighten the students. Of course he didn’t wish them any harm. He would prevent harm befalling any of the students should the need arise. But if a bunch of sniveling first years were frightened of a harmless ghost it was none of his concern. 

Helena smiled a little at that. “Why do you always act as if you care nothing for the students you teach? As if their being frightened means nothing to you? You feign indifference but I know it isn’t real. I think you do care.” 

“You’re wrong. I don’t. I don’t have the luxury of caring.” 

“Maybe not, but you care all the same. Why hide it?” she said plainly. 

Severus just stared at her for a moment. “Are you still speaking of the students or of something else?” 

Helena blushed a little at the question. She looked down at her feet. When finally lifted her head and looked back up at him there were tears in her eyes. “Of something else,” she whispered. 

He sighed and nodded understanding. “As I said, I do not have the luxury of caring. Neither of us do.” 

“Is that because because I am a ghost?” Helena said, frustrated and maybe a little angry. 

“No,” he said almost kindly. “I take comfort in the fact that you are a ghost. No one, not even the dark lord himself can kill you or take you from me. And yet…” 

“And yet I can never touch you,” Helena finished for him. 

“Indeed,” Severus agreed sadly. “The truth is, my life is in constant danger. You will exist far longer than I will. It is you who does not have the luxury of caring.” 

“But I care all the same,” she protested. “It is not something I can just switch off. Can you?” 

Severus hesitated to reply. He didn’t want to give her hope for something that that truly had no hope and he did not want to lie to her either. “I can not,” he admitted sadly. 

Helena burst into tears. She crossed her arms across herself. “I don’t know if that makes me happy or sad. I don’t know what to feel.” 

“It would be simpler not to feel anything at all,” he told her. 

“No…” she shook her head still crying. “I’d much rather feel this than feel nothing at all. It makes a thousand years of loneliness seem worthwhile somehow.” 

For a moment Severus didn’t know what to say. He didn’t get the chance to say anything. The library door burst open and three Slytherin students came rushing in. 

“Professor Snape! There’s a big fight in the common room! Someone has to stop it before anymore bones get broken!” the youngest student told him, almost proud of himself to have gotten his fellow students in trouble. 

“Broken bones?” Snape said, unamused. “I will be there directly.” He nodded goodbye to Helena and set off to deal with his beloved students.


	9. Chapter 9

The Gryffindor common room was mostly quiet as Hermione Granger sat studying late one evening. Harry and Ron had finally stopped interrupting her studies with their chatter and she was finally getting some work done. Or she would be, if not for the great injustices on her mind. 

“I still don’t think it’s fair,” Hermione said aloud. 

“What isn’t fair?” Harry looked up from his book. 

“I saw Moaning Myrtle today. She’s always so sad. The ministry of magic shouldn’t keep her confined to the bathrooms. It’s not as if Olive Hornby is even around anymore to be haunted. Myrtle is still a living being, or a non-being, but she still has consciousness. She hasn’t done anything wrong except be unfortunate enough to meet Tom Riddle and be killed. Why should she be confined to the toilet for all of eternity?” Hermione told them. 

“I don’t know,” Ron said warily. “She’s pretty scary sometimes. Maybe it’s better for everyone if she doesn’t go too far.” 

“How can you be so insensitive Ron? Would you want to be confined to a bathroom all alone for eternity?” She said, frustrated. “And worse than that, she doesn’t have any friends and can’t even do anything all day except turn the water on and off again.” 

“How does she do that anyway?” Harry asked. 

“It’s probably related to her having died in the bathrooms in the first place,” Hermione said. “Maybe ghosts have more abilities near their place of death. It’s not enough to be able to turn on water taps. I wish I could help her.” 

“Oh no,” Ron muttered. “Is this going to be like the house elves all over again?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hermione said. “You don’t think ghosts should have rights?” 

“Well I…” Ron sputtered. 

“What about you Harry? Do you think it’s right that Myrtle be confined to the bathroom forever?” She demanded an answer. 

“I guess not,” Harry conceded, a little frightened of her when she got like this. 

“You guess not?” Hermione got to her feet to leave them, clearly angry. 

“Where are you going?” Harry called after her. 

“I’m going to talk to Myrtle. Someone needs to. It’s the least I can do.” She marched out of the common room. 

Hermione didn’t find Myrtle in the girls bathroom she normally inhabited. She knew that sometimes Myrtle occupied other bathrooms. She checked three more before she found Myrtle sitting on a toilet reading a transparent ghostly book. 

“So you’ve come to visit me?” Myrtle said, closing her book. 

“I have. Where did you get the book?” She asked, a little confused. 

“From the Grey Lady. It’s useless anyway!” Myrtle all but shouted. “It’s not even in English!” 

“I’m sorry. Is it alright if I ask you some questions?” 

“Ask away,” Myrtle said airily. “It’s not as if I have anything else to do.” 

“Well, is the Ministry of Magic going to let you out of the bathrooms once Olive Hornby is...dead?” Hermione asked. 

“No.” Myrtle said bitterly. “They said I will haunt her descendants. Or that’s what other ghosts do anyway. They said I had to stay in here forever!” 

“That doesn’t seem fair to me,” Hermione said. 

“It’s not. It’s not fair at all. The other Hogwarts ghosts get to roam the whole castle, all except the Bloody Baron. He can’t go in Ravenclaw tower but he gets to go everywhere else. I can only go in the bathrooms or in the lake. It’s not fair!” 

“Why can’t the Baron go in Ravenclaw tower?” Hermione asked, mostly just to distract Myrtle from being so upset. 

“I don’t know. I just know he can’t. And he at least gets to have a little fun groaning and clanking around the astronomy tower. All I can do is turn the water on,” she whined. 

“How can you do that, Myrtle? Is it because this is where you passed over?” Hermione asked gently, hoping to not upset her by mentioning her death. She only wanted more information on what ghosts could do so as to best help them. 

“Noooo…” Myrtle started crying. “It’s not because of the place. It’s because of the thing that killed me, the Basilisk is here. It’s bones are here maybe or a tooth. I don’t want to talk about it anymore!” 

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to. I was only trying to help.” 

“Trying to help by reminding me I’m dead!” Myrtle shouted. “I don’t want your help! Just leave!” 

Hermione took a step back, irritated that this was going so poorly. 

“You want to help? Then tell the Grey Lady that I don’t want her stupid book anymore! It’s not fair that she gets to have books and a pretty dress and a man to love her. Tell her to take her book and shove it-” 

“I don’t even know where I would find the Grey Lady,” Hermione cut her off. “Who is she?”

“She’s Helena Ravenclaw. It used to be you’d find her in Ravenclaw tower but lately she spends all her time in the library with a certain Hogwarts professor. I think he loves her but she won’t talk about it.”

“Isn’t that forbidden? Ghosts and humans?” Hermione wasn’t sure but it seemed like something the ministry would not allow. 

“It doesn’t need to be forbidden. It’s not as if she can kiss him or anything. Not since the weapon that killed her is long gone. Maybe if she had it, she could throw books at people or scare students with icy ghostly touches. I could throw water at people if I could get out of here…” 

Hermione wasn’t sure why Myrtle would want to do that but ghosts did seem to take pleasure in tormenting people. Maybe the ministry had the right idea in keeping her confined after all, at least until enough years had passed that she wasn’t so bitter about her death. Hermione took another step towards the door. 

“Maybe I will go talk to the Grey Lady,” Hermoine said. “I’ll tell her you are finished with the book. I’ll come and visit you again soon.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter!

Severus Snape was tired of always finding students wandering the halls of Hogwarts at night when they ought to be in their own houses asleep. He did not sleep well and probably never had been one to sleep through the night undisturbed. This meant that he was often out at night walking about the castle. At least once weekly he found a student or two out of bed on some great quest of mischief no doubt. Tonight was no different. He could see the shadow of a student ahead of him. She tried to hide against a nearby statue but the moonlight from the window was enough that he could see her all the same. 

“Stop hiding and come out of there,” he said, having no patience for whatever games this student was up to. 

She stepped out into the light. “Professor Snape, I was just-” 

“Spare me your excuses, Granger. You belong in Gryffindor, not out in the hall at this time of night.” And then in spite of cutting her excuses short, he asked for an explanation anyhow. “What do you think you are doing?” 

“I was looking for the Grey Lady. I hoped she might be able to answer some of my questions,” Hermione said. “Moaning Myrtle was only a little help. I already tried asking her. I thought perhaps the Ravenclaw ghost would be more knowledgeable.” 

“What questions could you possibly have for a ghost?” Severus asked, irritated. 

“It seems to me that the Ministry of Magic doesn’t treat spirits very well at all. I wanted to know more about their nature and what they can do...and what we can do to help them.” 

Now he was curious but Granger didn’t need to know that he was. “There is nothing to be done for ghosts Granger. They are disembodied spirits who can never return to human form. Not even your idealism can save them.” 

“I don’t expect to save them, only improve the quality of their existence. Myrtle can’t do anything all day except be stuck in the girls bathroom and turn on the water taps. She says she can do that because the thing that killed her is so close by. I wonder if there is some magic, some spell that would allow her to do more?” 

“Impossible,” Snape said, though some part of him wondered if Granger was correct. 

“So you don’t think that if we could find the ax that killed Sir Nick he could perhaps open doors or turn the pages of a book or maybe even touch people?” Hermione said hopefully. 

“I highly doubt it,” Severus told her. “Return to your room Granger. I will hear no more of this.” 

Severus watched her go, unable to stop wondering what might have happened to the knife that killed Helena so many hundreds of years ago. If he could find it, would it even help?


	11. Chapter 11

It had been three days since Helena had seen Severus. She was quite sure that he was avoiding her because he had admitted that he cared for her. She understood why he might do that but it didn’t make it hurt any less. She wandered the halls at night more sad and alone than she had been in a long time. Sir Nick came around the corner looking intent on speaking to her. 

“What is it?” She asked when he had floated to where she stood. “Something is wrong.” 

“I’ve just spoken to the Baron,” Nick told her. 

“I have no interest in hearing anything he has to say,” Helena protested. 

“You will this time. Severus came to him earlier today asking about the knife that killed you. The Baron is in a fury that he even asked such a question. Severus threatened him with petrification and made him tell where to find it or at least where it was last located. Now Snape has left Hogwarts grounds and the Baron is making such a ruckus in the Astronomy Tower that Headmaster Dumbledore has gone out to deal with him,” Nick explained. 

“But why? Why would Severus do that?” Helena gasped. 

“Haven’t you heard the stories? The stories that the weapon that killed a ghost can make them just a little more solid?” Sir Nick said. “I know that you have been spending a lot of time with Severus of late. I know that you must care for him. He must care for you enough that he believes finding the knife offers hope of…” 

“I don’t want to see that knife,” Helena was starting to cry. “If he can find it I shall have to choose, between being more solid or facing the weapon that caused my death. I don’t want to make that choice.” 

“That’s if he can find it. It was a thousand years ago. Chances are he can not,” Nick offered comfortingly. 

“And if he can not I can never touch him,” she said. 

Sir Nick nodded sadly. “We ghosts have an unlucky existence, it is true. I should not want to see the ax that killed me either unless the power it offered me made it worth the trauma. You must decide if seeing that knife is worth what it will bring you.” 

“Of course it is,” she sobbed. “That doesn’t mean I am looking forward to the experience. And what about the Baron? What will having that knife in Hogwarts do to him? Will he be able to touch me?” 

“I had not considered that. I should hope not,” Nick said anxiously. 

“Did Severus say where he was going? When he will be back? How long do I have to prepare for this?” 

“I do not know. I learned this information from the Baron and he was in quite a rage. I believe he said Albania and forest. That’s all I know.” 

“Well I thank you for telling me,” 

“Not a problem, my lady,” Nick said. “I should be getting back now. Perhaps I can help the Headmaster to calm the Baron.” 

Helena headed to the farthest corners of Ravenclaw Tower knowing that at least there the Baron could not reach her, no matter how angry he was at the moment.


End file.
